Tasks for You from Your Inner Voices

For your edification, we've put together a list of some of our favorite assignments. There are just little things you can do to benefit even more from our advice.

From The Critic: Calculate Your Screw-Up Score for the Week

Make a list of everything - everything - you've screwed up in the past week.
Now rank each on a scale of 1-5 on how bad a screw-up it was.
Multiply each score by the number of people it affected.
Now add them all up. This is your screw-up score for the week. Enjoy!

From The Processor: How Deep Can You Go?

Make a list of 5 things you've always wanted to do but haven't yet.
For each item, make a list of all the reasons you have failed to do it.
For each of those reasons, write a 10+ page analysis of what's behind that reason. Be sure to include any related childhood traumas, relationship disappointments, etc.
Now get input on each analysis from your family, friends, co-workers, love interests, ex-love interests, random strangers, etc. Encourage them to be totally honest with you. Repeat what they say back to them. Ask as many questions as you need to understand completely what they're telling you. Take notes. (Note: you want to avoid talking to those involved in any lingering traumas or relationship pain stories - after all, you wouldn't want to resolve the conflict before you can enjoy - we mean explore - it thoroughly.)
Using their input, rewrite and expand your analysis.
Go back to Step 4, and repeat unti lyou are completely satisfied that you have explored all the nuances involved.
Special bonus: this task, done properly, takes so much time that it becomes itself a reason for not doing things.