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Our Horoscopes Archive - November 2009

The Board Says...
Is your sign missing for this week? Get over it. How important do you think you are, anyway?

Always relevant cautionary pointers from your past!

What better way to dwell on past mistakes than to return to and linger over the horoscopes that told you what you should have done, if only you'd had the sense to listen? Take a stroll down memory lane here - revisit those horrible oversights, those disastrously optimistic choices you made way back when, that turned your life into what it is now.

We all know horoscopes are fake, right? Science, schmience! For entertainment only! But these, at least, had some good, solid, helpful hints for handling what was coming your way! And they were (still are) FREE! If only you'd taken a moment to look at them, or taken them seriously....

The Rationalizer explains why the Board only did horoscopes one week in November:
Turns out November was an abysmal month in which it was not even worth our time to revise the horoscopes weekly - they were all so much the same. So, look back and weep!

Week of 11/02/2009

Aries 1 of 4
Thinking of hosting at the holidays? Consult your inner Critic about times you've done that in the past...
Leo 1 of 4
Remember: it wasn't a mistake, you did it on purpose. Heed your Rationalizer.
Sagittarius 2 of 4
Ok, it's past time for you to have a serious sit-down with the Realist. You're getting way too optimistic.
Taurus 2 of 4
Who's that attractive stranger smiling at you? Be very suspicious.
Virgo 2 of 4
You've had several opportunities recently to benefit from your Critic, and you have not. It's now or never, pal.
Capricorn 2 of 4
Weather changes bring Murphy's Law to your doorstep. Who's your Daddy now? The Rationalizer, that's who.
Gemini 2 of 4
Why bother?
Libra 3 of 4
Aquarius 3 of 4
You get, from your significant other, a good look at how the Escalator can be a relationship game-changer.
Cancer 2 of 4
Why bother?
Scorpio 3 of 4
Oh, my. Have you heard the expression "red tape"? Look forward to getting up close and personal with it in your dealings with bureaucracy in the next week.

Pisces 2 of 4
Did we or did we not tell you unambiguously to SLOW THINGS DOWN? You are now on the downhill side of the rollercoaster. You need every single one of us this coming week.

Past Months' Archives


Understanding your Board of Mis-Directors horoscope

1 of 4 You can squeak by with advice from only one or two of us. But don't get cocky.
2 of 4 In addition to your usual Board members, you'll need supplemental advice from some others.
3 of 4 Hm - likely to be an interesting week for you! Lots of us will chime in to help.
All Board members on deck! Batten down the hatches! Disconnect the phone! Whatever you do, stay OFF email, Facebook, and all chat rooms! Emergency! Red alert!!! You'll need all the help we can give!